Over on Facebook I’ve talked a little about some struggles I’ve been going through with my health….and here let me use the word struggles loosely because I am certain what I have been dealing with is NOTHING compared to what others face…so while things have been difficult for me I really have nothing to complain about. Plus I am doing my best to get a handle on my health and if all goes well I will be good as new in no time!
Recently the doctor gave me the all clear to resume my “normal” physical activities. And so I decided to make my first return to running voyage with Simon (my 10 year old) over at his track practice….something I have done dozens and dozens of times.
While he meets with his team for practice I run laps around the track. Doing this I get exercise plus I get to watch what Simon is working on. It’s a perfect combination and I’ve done it for the past three years but this year…this year has been different. I hadn’t been able to run up until now. So I put on my running clothes that suddenly were horrifyingly snug and we headed out the door to track.
When I parked I told Simon to run over to his team and that I would see him over there in a minute. And then I sat in the car. And then I sat awhile longer. I was tired. I was a good ten pounds heavier than I was the last time I was out here. And I knew that an hour worth of running was going to wear me out. I felt overwhelmed, uncomfortable, and just plain sad.
But across the parking lot and through the bleachers I could see Simon with his team warming up and watching for me.
So I climbed out of the car and made my way to the track. As I walked I thought about that first year with Simon…me breezing around the track, Simon waving each time I passed…and that day he announced to his friends that his mom was “the one that was running”…and I knew today was not going to be like that day. Not at all.
But, still, there I was and so I stepped out onto the track and started my jog. It seemed like in my absence the track had been extended a mile or so and that it was up hill as well! I was breathing hard and realized that my slow jog was perhaps top speed for me that day. As I was finishing off my third lap I happened to pass Simon with his friends waiting in line for an event and as I passed, being careful not to wave since he is “too old” for that now, I heard Simon tell his friends, “Yeah, that’s my mom. She doesn’t look like it but she’s tough. No, REALLY guys, my mom is tough.”
“No, REALLY guys, my mom is tough.”
I didn’t feel tough. I felt chubby, hot, and tired. But my heart soared. I may not be the girl I was three years ago and my running shorts may not fit the way they did last year but I could be tough and maybe just maybe if I was tough enough I could be that girl again. However, for those next 40 some odd minutes I only had to be tough enough to just keep running.
It’s going to take some time…I’ve been out of commission for awhile now. But I’m back and I’m starting over….again.
I don’t enjoy starting over. I hate discovering that a task that was once so easy has become so very difficult. It’s discouraging and makes me mad. But I can either choose to forget it and write it off or I can tie up those shoes, put on my stretchy pants, and get moving. And for now I’m going to choose to get moving…if only for the sake of Simon, who still believes his mom is tough…
Wish me luck and give me strength. Tonight is another night at track.
-liZ
Good for you for getting out there! It is so hard to start up running again after a break. It’s amazing how quickly you lose that stamina. You’ll get it back, though! Keep being tough!
It sounds like you’re raising a really great boy. The world needs more of them! And as for running.. I dont but am trying to work up the nerve to try. So keep on being tough momma. You’ll have your boy looking up to you from the sidelines and learning an important lesson in the meantime.
Of course I wish you luck!! I don’t chime in and comment very often but I felt this post was a good one to break my silence on :). You can do it and you will. Not only do you have the right attitiude but like your son said, you are tough!! Don’t ever forget that.
Wow! Awesome job getting back to the track. I’d lose my marbles if I didn’t exercise but I hate running. I needed this post on starting over today, so thank you! I move (again…) this week and while I know the next stage is exciting; it’s also exhausting and scary and NEW all over again. Thanks for reminding me that starting over can be good and that the way our kids see us is all that matters. Putting on my sneakers and smile to load some more boxes now…
It sucks to find yourself back at the starting line. But, at least you are *at* the starting line. Better than not lacing up those shoes at all…
Good luck! It should start feeling better soon!
Good for you! I’m impressed you kept going. I’ve broken my toe twice now & when it’s healed it’s so hard to jog for any length of time. You’re example and determination are inspiring.
It is amazing how quickly you loose it! Aghhhhh!!!! But it’s ok, it will come back….eventually 🙂 -liZ
He is a good boy, which helps to make me a better person…and I feel very lucky for that.-liZ
I’m not that tough…but I am trying. I really am.
Thank you for breaking your silence! I appreciated hearing from you!
-liZ
Oh Nicole! Good luck on the move..it is all those things you said, exhausting, scary, and exciting…Good luck! I hope all goes well…and smoothly….and quickly!!!-liZ
I feel ya! I was put on bedrest during 3 of my 4 pregnancies & starting over running after my babies were born was so hard. I always didn’t expect (but also did expect) to return to normal right away, back out there, doing my normal 5 or 6 miles. It was always so hard, but so rewarding once I got back up to speed. I think your running more than I am, your doing marathons & tough mudder’s and stuff- I’ve never done any of that. So I think your going to get right back where you were and surpass that and go even farther!
Hey Carolina!
It does kind of suck…but I’d rather be back at the start then where I was a few weeks ago!!-liZ
Oh dang! Broken toes are bad news! There’s nothing they can do for them but let them heal…and it takes forever!!! Hang in there!!!
-liZ
You’re gonna get your previous performance soon, just keep going!
What a thoughtful insightful post. It made me stop and reflect on taking care of my own health. You know… research says that walking briskly is really health for you also.
Deborah Devine
Sew Much To Give
I only took one week off from walking, and it was like I was starting over again too! ONE WEEK.
It is so very hard, but I know that if I don’t just do it, it will only get harder.
GOOD FOR YOU!! You go girl!
Bravo. What an insightful child to recognize his mother’s strength. I applaud you for being a great parent too!
Oh liZ, that kid of yours is just something special. And a lot of it has to do with you, his amazing mom. Thanks for sharing this story. I love it!
I am TOTALLY rooting for you for your future success back with running and all things in life! I say this especially as I am currently doing a complete revamp and took June (the middle of the year) to fully revamp myself. I commend you for continuing on and going out there and just DOING it. I look forward to hearing more of your continued happiness with getting back to ‘yourself’, if you will. I’m totally doing the stadium hand “WHOOP WHOOP” cheering you along!
Kids always tell the truth, don’t they? And how wonderful that your truth is that you love and respect each other so much 🙂 Starting over is so hard. But every step is one closer to where you want to be, that you won’t have to do over, cause you’re too tough to stop 🙂 XX!
Way to get back out there! Running is hard, really really hard! Loved this post, made me cry.
You are amazing! Thank you for your inspiration!