When a friend looses a loved one sometimes it is hard to know how to best show them love and support.
And I’m not very good at those situations…basically all I do is a lot of crying with and for them….and I always want to give them something…something useful….
Over the past few years I’ve found a few things that seem to be both useful and will let them know that I care (and are surprisingly not hard to do). Giving, even in times of sadness, doesn’t need to be monumental. It can be something simple. Like two of my most often given gifts:
Vintage Handkerchiefs.
And:
Pocket sized Kleenex packets.
Both items are useful. But depending on the friend I know which one would prefer a vintage handkerchief, freshly bleached and pressed or which one would rather have some disposable tissues to keep handy as they navigate their way through the funeral and viewings.
I usually give either one of these with a card or written note expressing my love and concern for them.
Then there are times when hankies and tissues aren’t enough and at these times my most favorite thing to give is a quilt.
Quilts are always welcome. They are warm and comforting and perfect for curling up on the couch with and healing.
And because I like to sew I always try to have a quilt or two in the process or finished to have on hand for when the need arises.
It’s not a perfect system. And no amount of tissues or blankets can make up for the loss of the loved one but hopefully by giving others these small tokens of my affection they will feel the love and support that I want to give them.
-liZ
This is such a lovely idea! I am hopeless in situations like this, usually saying “I’m sorry” and buying a bunch of flowers is my way of dealing with it.
I always do think “they’re probably overrun with flowers” but fall short on what else to give.
The hankies and quilt are such a lovely idea and so different!
Thanks for sharing, I will definitely do something like this in the future!
Kate xx
Perfect. A vintage hanky tucked into a pocket, pulled out as a reminder of the love of a friend. The cards and notes that go with something like this gift are nice to read later, but something to hold onto in a time of grief is better.
This is such an awesome idea. Need to pin to refer to later.
At my father’s burial, my uncle saw me using a crumpled up tissue. He came over and hugged me and then handed me a clean white handkerchief. This small, thoughtful act meant so much.
This is lovely. It is such a difficult subject to breach, and those gifts show love and care without really saying anything. How very thoughtful!