Like mother…like daughter
On Mother’s Day I found this picture of Grace shoved under a pile of books on the table. When I asked her what it was she grabbed it out of my hands and said it wasn’t for me.
But why? Who is it for?
No one!!! (And she started to cry.)
After some time on my lap and some rocking in the rocking chair she told me all about it:
In her class on Friday they took pictures of themselves to give to their moms for Mother’s Day and she RUINED her picture. RUINED IT!!!
But how? I love that picture! The flowers…that smile!
Well, she didn’t move her backpack and it’s IN THE PICTURE and it makes it all ugly…the WHOLE CORNER LOOKS UGLY LIKE A SPIDER!
And that is when I realized Grace is far more like me than I’d like to admit.
I used to think that I would love having my daughters be just like me…we would all get along so perfectly. But now…I worry that they will be too much like me. I cringe when I see my faults reflected through them…like hiding a picture because it isn’t good enough to give.
It was a startling wake up call for me.
The world is full of critics…mean people…those who try to tear others down…jerk wads….and I need to stop beating up myself and my work….there are people enough for that…and if I’m not strong enough to do it for myself I need to do it for the sake of my girls. Because they are good and wonderful and don’t need themselves for a harsh, unrelenting critic.
There is nothing wrong with this photograph…this darling picture of a beaming girl holding a bouquet of flowers that just happens to have a backpack in the bottom corner…but I almost missed out on receiving it because I am too hard on myself….and it has rubbed off on my daughter.
How unfortunate that would have been to miss out on sharing that picture…I can’t ever let that happen again…EVER. I need to be better…and I have a feeling, I’m not the only one out there who could use a strong, solid dose of “I’m good enough.”
Let’s try to take it easy on ourselves today ok ladies? It will be hard, I know it will be hard for me, but we (especially me) need to do it. If only for the sake of our girls.
-liZ
That is such a gorgeous, smiling, happy photo. What a shame that she was so upset by that tiny bit of back pack. It is very hard to keep our own insecurities from rubbing off on our tiny people. This is a good wake up call, thank you for sharing it.
I didn’t even notice the backpack until it was pointed out. Your daughter and the flowers were just so beautiful. Thanks for the be nice to yourself challenge.
I didn’t even notice the backpack until you pointed it out. All I noticed was a sweet girl taking a picture for her mom.
There is so much truth in the words you wrote today. Thanks for the wake up call, and for giving me courage to work on myself, for the benefit of my girls.
An adorable photo of your daughter. Please read this blog! If not every day, just check in, and check in today! Rachel is the queen of trying to make it right, laying her heart on the line, and sharing her bumps and triumphs. I think todays post might speak to you a bit. Every mother (woman, man) should be able to take away something from her words. http://www.handsfreemama.com/ Please Liz?? And did you all get the email regarding the ArtPrize winner this past year?
Awwww, such a sweetie! Thanks for this timely post. Just cherish the good things that are like you, and share with them your struggles about the negative things that are like you.
liZ,
We spend so much time beating ourselves up over minor issues that we lose track of a central truth. Wanting to do better is not the same as not being good enough. Striving to improve is wonderful, positive and empowering. Picking apart the things we do, make, have; searching for flaws with microscopes and fine tooth combs is destructive and useless and harms ourselves and our loved ones.
Not that it’s easy. It took me years to learn the phrase “It’s good enough.” and then it took a few more years to figure out that “good enough” is so often great, amazing, fantastic and wonderful for the people who aren’t looking at things with our vicious glare.
Dear Liz, tell her you asked around the blogosphere and that we all think she is so cute and has so beautiful smile that we didn’t notice the backpack. What backpack? I haven’t seen any backpack….
That picture will always become your favorite. The story of the that picture is one that is beautiful and so is she. I too have issues with things that have to be perfect or I cannt give as a gift. And that is so sad. you would have missed that picture and we wouldn’t have read the story or seen a beautiful girl with a awesome smile.
Such a great lesson.. gives me a lot to think about..
Does this mean we might see pictures of you soon? Seems as though Grace might have picked up her “beauty” from the same place she learned her “faults”.
Thank you for sharing. I’m going to try harder too.
Oh, yes. “I’m good enough.” I need to work on that too. (And my oldest son? Spitting image and personality of me. Equally awesome and scary.)
Liz, that was so lovely of your daughter. My 2 daughters are grown up and children of their own, they are both hard on themselves and I see myself reflected in them. I will always remember your kindness to me with the Dolly Pattern, xx