It’s been awhile since we’ve had a daily dose of Daryl here on Tuesday and I’ve been missing her.
So from 1967….here are some words of wisdom from Mrs. Hoole:
I love that….homemaking IS a great career. And I love even more the idea of becoming “a professional” in the field.
But the whole”…letting her devotion and sense of duty, rather than her moods dominate her….” well, that is a greeted with a little less enthusiasm from me.
That’s a tall order!
Some days I’m just plain grumpy and I don’t want to do the dishes or vacuum the floor or pick up the mega blocks for the eighty millionth time! And those days I struggle…and I talk to myself a lot…and I tell myself just do it…just do it…but sometimes I don’t listen to myself…and the crayons stay scattered on the floor…and the socks don’t get washed…and we eat grilled cheeses for dinner.
How do you conquer that?
I don’t know. I’m working on it…but I’m not a “professional” at it yet. Most days I love what I do. And then there are times when I just muscle through (and reward myself with a Dr. Pepper) but then there are those other days. And granted, those days are few and far between but when they come how can I prevail over the “I’m just done-ness”?
I know I can’t be the only who has those days…and I know I can’t be the only one who wants to overcome them. So when you have them what do you do? What helps?
(Just don’t say nachos…because right now…that is my only solution 🙂 and don’t you think I’m even kidding!)
-liZ
Oh I’m definitely with you on the ‘rewards’ sometimes that’s all that will work on days like that. I guess on the tough days I just do one little thing at a time and forget about the bigger picture – usually I end up finding I’ve done way more than I thought I would.
i have started having my son’s friends come over more. usually their moms come along too so we can all hang out. knowing that someone other then a family is coming over gets me moving fast:) that is the motivation i need!
I am working on having more days in which my love for children shines through the tedium of dishes and laundry. I know where you are coming from and I am trying to find a consistent way to incorporate more joy moments that outshine the blah moments .
I do that a lot to…the just do one thing at a time and not look at EVERYTHING that has to be done. (I actually make lists of all the things I need to do just so I can cross things of.) I do think it helps.
-liZ
Yes….having people coming over is motivating for sure!!-liZ
Although I’m not a full-time homemaker at the moment, I’ve been feeling the pinch big time lately when it comes to the things that need to be done in order to keep our home running smoothly. Between teaching part time, being a part-time librarian, starting a business, being a toddler’s mom and a wife (not to mention being the incubator for our second baby due this summer) the pressure has often felt like it’s on recently. Am I spending enough time with my son and my husband? What’s more important – one more story or doing the dishes so the kitchen won’t be a wreck tomorrow morning? How do some of my friends work full time and still have gorgeous houses while I feel accomplished if I just get a load of laundry done and put away? Anyway, my solution lately has been to prioritize my people over a pristine house and to ask for help when I need it. My husband is awesome about making dinner when I need him to, and when the dishes don’t get done, well… there’s always tomorrow. Or the next day. I keep telling myself that this, too, will pass and that when it does I won’t remember my messy house, but I will remember how our kiddo asked for a million books before bedtime and how good his baby smell is. Maybe my house will be perfect when the kids go away to college. 🙂
<3 Another Elizabeth
You house WILL be “perfect” when the kids leave. It will be perfectly QUIET!
Oops, pushed the wrong button! 🙁 I miss my one & only! Even tho she was just ONE, she filled this home w/ laughter! Yes, there were nites that the dishes waited til morning, days when the laundry wasn’t completely finished before fun started happening but WE had FUN! ENJOY these days Moms, these moments of pure JOY! And yes, the fleeting moments of feeling frazzled, (ya know there’s Dark Chocolate & wine for those days) will pass. Sometimes quicker than you think! But DO enjoy the moments you have w/ your Littles! Because they DO move on & leave your home clean but VERY quiet!!
I wish I could figure out how to concur those bad mood days. Right now I just remind myself that I am in control of whether I not I act on the mood.
Most challenging for me is cooking! Some days I allow myself to not. Popcorn for dinner will not hurt anyone. Or letting my 8 year old make herself PB on rice cake. Done and done.
Having the kids in school full-time certainly helps my mood a bunch with getting my duties done. The benefit is thing stay done…until they all get home! LOL
I find that analogy interesting. Being a professional in anything doesn’t mean you won’t have bad days. It also doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. I think the biggest thing is to just keep getting up in the morning with a good attitude and trying your best, even if your best is getting the children fed. I think that you have to have the bad days in order to appreciate the good ones.
I’m having a really hard time managing home care with blogging commitments. It’s really getting overwhelming. I’m starting to miss the days when I had more time. My house is a mess and my husband is not happy about it.
I take the day, or the afternoon or the evening off. My husband gets evenings and weekends off, so maybe I should too. 🙂 That’s the thing full time homemaker doesn’t just stick to 9-5. I used to stop whatever I was doing in the afternoon so I could have a break, because the busiest part of my work day is after school, dinner (prep, cook and clean up) and bedtime routine, the time my hubby takes to decompress from his day, so I just decompress earlier. I will also just call it a day if I am not ‘feeling it’.
I have just happened upon your site and I love it! This post has really hit me for today, as this is something that I deal with not infrequently. I really think the best answer is unfortunately one that we don’t really want to hear. The best advice I have heard (and I’m still struggling to follow) is to keep “pleasure” a servant and not a companion. As much as we are called to sacrifice as moms and wives, we should still constantly be striving to put God first, others second and ourselves last. It is a message widely unheard of in this world that we live in today, but the wisdom that came before us encourages us to be strong, and deny ourselves now so that we may deny evil when it knocks. By avoiding indulgences and idleness and practicing self denial we will be given graces that we need to overcome future and possibly greater temptations. Stick to devotion and our duty and avoid the vice of “sloth”. There is a time for rest and play and a time for work, we will only have peace knowing that we have kept them in their rightful place.
Our world is so upside down from what is was when women and girls wore those cute vintage styles that you post with a modern flare. I think it is time for us to bring back those ‘good ole days in virtue’ along with in style 🙂 Let it start with the homemaker in her home.
Most other professionals don’t work 24/7. Perhaps the key is to be devoted and dutiful during certain hours of the day, scheduling in some downtime too? I have most of my housework chores assigned to specific days of the week and for most things if it doesn’t get done that day, it usually just waits until the next week unless it’s essential (i.e. needing clean laundry) and then I do it the next day. I also have “off-duty” times like quiet time and after the kids go to bed that are reserved for ME, not housework. I think having a plan for when things are getting done helps, too. Then I don’t think about whether I want to do something or not; I just know what I’m supposed to be doing. I think there’s also a balance between being diligent in one’s duty and trying to be a perfectionist. At times we all need a reminder that it’s ok to not be perfect. 🙂
I agree with HW completely all the way up until “it is okay not to be perfect”. We shouldn’t stop striving to be, and when we fail we should get up again and resolve to continue trying to be. “Be you therefore perfect, as also your heavenly Father is perfect.” Matthew 5:48
Love this idea!
Oh my, yes, this quote spoke a lot to me. I have no solution other than ice cream. Also, going for family walks help a little… but only as the weather allows :p Moods happen, you just gotta keep swimming on those days and reminding yourself that picking the crayons up will actually help the mood (most of the time, ha!)