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Giveaway· Thoughts

If you wanna be a human…..

“If you wanna be a human, the first thing you gotta do is dress like one.”
-Scuttle
 This is Grace on her first day of school.
I had already decided months ago what she would be wearing on that momentous occasion:  A navy blue tiered ruffled skirt from Aunt Elizabeth, a white button up shirt with a Peter Pan collar, white knee high socks, grey shoes, a yellow cardigan, and red beads.
As you can see, that’s not what she wore. 
She had plans of her own.
Very specific plans: A crazy polyester rust colored skirt I made her almost a year ago, a pale pink shirt from Grandma, and the white and neon sweater she’d picked out on a recent shopping trip paired with her “golden” shoes and the heart necklace which she recently commandeered from my stash.
Not what I planned at all.  In fact, this isn’t even a combination that I would have ever considered!
But she was confident and knew what she wanted and what would make her feel the most comfortable and the most “like Grace”.  So I went with it.
I figured there will be many times when her taste, style, and creativity will be questioned by people and I certainly didn’t want any doubt of her judgment to start with me.  She was clean and appropriate so why not let her choose?
And at least she wasn’t wearing her standard summer outfit:
Shorts and Simon’s old snow boots.
Right now she is confident and authentic…oh, how I hope she can maintain that!  As you grow older it’s easy to get lost, to adopt others’ ideas and become unsure of yourself. 
Recently Grace and I got a chance to sit down and watch Disney’s The Little Mermaid together.  Grace had never seen it before and we had a lot of fun watching Ariel on her adventure.  I haven’t watched The Little Mermaid since I’ve had children of my own…and this time it was a whole different experience.

When I was young I thought Ariel’s dad (King Triton) was so mean and unreasonable.  I couldn’t understand what his problem was.  Now that I have children of my own I get it.  I totally get it.

As a parent you want to protect your child…sometimes I think that if I could I would make all of their decisions for them…and keep them in a bubble of safety forever.  But I can’t.  The only thing I can do is to help them find their voices and encourage them to sing.  As scary as that may be….

(And even if that means letting Grace wear her own crazy concoctions to school.)

For the first time, The Little Mermaid will be available on Blu-ray Combo Pack and HD Digital on October 1st!
What do you do to help your children find and embrace their own voices and follow their dreams?  Leave an answer in the comments below and you will automatically be entered for a chance to win a $50 Visa gift card and Little Mermaid Diamond Edition Blu-ray Combo Pack!  
Rules:
No duplicate comments.
You may receive (2) total entries by selecting from the following entry methods:
a) Leave a comment in response to the sweepstakes prompt on this post
b) Tweet (public message) about this promotion; including exactly the following unique term in your tweet message: “”#SweepstakesEntry””; and leave the URL to that tweet in a comment on this post”
c) Blog about this promotion, including a disclosure that you are receiving a sweepstakes entry in exchange for writing the blog post, and leave the URL to that post in a comment on this post
d) For those with no Twitter or blog, read the official rules to learn about an alternate form of entry.
This giveaway is open to US Residents age 18 or older. Winners will be selected via random draw, and will be notified by e-mail. You have 72 hours to get back to me, otherwise a new winner will be selected.
The Official Rules are available here.
This sweepstakes runs from 9/3/13 – 10/15/13.
Be sure to visit the Disney’s Little Mermaid page on BlogHer.com where you can read other bloggers’ reviews and find more chances to win!

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Comments

  1. icicle says

    I try not to second guess my kid — what she says, what she wears, her crazy food combos — if it’s safe and acceptable to my basic modesty and politeness standards then ‘have at it, girl!’.

  2. Sara says

    My oldest also never wears what I have envisioned, today she set off for her first day of 2nd grade, with a pleated pink and navy skirt, a polka dot navy short sleeve cardigan…not too bad, but then added a crazy orange scarf that she insists “goes with practically everything”. Indeed it does if you’re 7.

  4. Sweetbug Studio says

    This is not an answer to your question–I just have to say what a GREAT mom you are for letting go and not controlling her on something like an outfit. I still “suggest” the outfit for the day for my 10 yr. old. However, she is into exercise clothes–kind of hard to mess that up. My older daughter, 13, asks my opinion every now and then and when I give it and it is not what she wants to hear I get the expected reponse from an early teen:) She has come up with her own style and I like it. I have always chosen the outfits when they were young. I only let the creativivty flow through the dress up at home. And BOY did it FLOW! The outfits and combos were endless and so creative! The layers upon layers! OK…so I like to control what they look like in public but at home give them some more freedom. Maybe I ended up answering the question. Bottom line–You are a GREAT mom to go with her choice and I would love to see the first day outfit sometime!!!

  5. Quilter in the Gap says

    I think the best thing you can do to help your children find and embrace their own voices and follow their dreams is build their confidence, give them good values, and finally be there for when they fall while allowing them to fall. As parents we want to stop them from falling but we can’t do that. Instead we need to be there to both applaud their accomplishments and pick them up when they fall. That is how we as humans learn. If we give our kids good values and the confidence to deal with life in general then they will be ok. That is what faith is all about after all.

  6. Laura J. says

    I am working reeeeeeally hard to give up on my notions of how my child should dress. The outfits she comes up with on her own are hilarious and just so HER. It used to drive me crazy, but I am (very slowly) learning to embrace it.

  8. Erin Shakespear says

    Find their own voice? Embrace their dreams? Hmmmm….encourage their crazy ideas, laugh at their jokes, smile back at them with your eyes, heart AND mouth, and tell them often with your actions and words that you believe in them, that you truly think they can d and be anything they want to be.

    Also, on thing I tried this summer was doing art journals with them. It sounds pretty simple, but I loved the idea of them having something they got to work on, to create which was all their own. It wasn’t homework. There was no right or wrong. They just got to go wild and use their imagination. Brilliant.

  9. pixidance says

    I love seeing the outfits my daughter picks. I don’t always let her leave the house in them, but often, they’re something unexpected and, honestly, work. Even if it’s not something I”d have chosen or even thought of, it somehow works together in it’s own way. For instance, last spring she insisted on wearing a pair of too short grey leggings but she wore a pair of knee high neon striped hello kitty socks over the top (too short problem solved!). She paired it with Hello Kitty logo top. This is something that would not have occurred to me (more hello kitty in one place than I care for.) but she rocked it. She felt so confident in that outfit I was kind of jealous. Seriously, I wish I could walk down the street wearing whatever I pleased and feel amazing doing it.

  10. Ash says

    My daughter could care less about what she wears. But when she does want to wear her crazy reainboots in the middle of the summer we go with it. Also she loves art and creating so we do a lot of projects, and I try to let it go and make a mess and let her have fun with it.

  11. Diana says

    I try and give my children choices with regards to activities they enjoy, and I try to get involved in their likes and interests so that they can share them with me, even if it is learning all the names of Star Wars characters!

  12. Bailey says

    I try to let her just be her and she’s only 5. She asked for waffles for the second day of school, for lunch. Yes, I’m the mom that let her kid have waffles for school. I also let her have a nutella and peanut butter sandwich and did I hear it from my mom friends! My daughter told me that your daughter had a chocolate sandwich……

  13. Bryan & Suzanne says

    We let her wear what she wants, whatever that may be. And we let her be herself. Sometimes that means sorting all of her crayons by color, or buttons, or beads. Sometimes that means letting her ride her four wheeler in her princess costume. 🙂

  14. Bryan & Suzanne says

    We let her wear what she wants, whatever that may be. And we let her be herself. Sometimes that means sorting all of her crayons by color, or buttons, or beads. Sometimes that means letting her ride her four wheeler in her princess costume. 🙂

  15. SaraJ says

    My daughter has just started school this year as well and she has similar taste to yours! As you say you have to hold your tongue and let them show their creativity!

  16. Celeste says

    Sometimes I forget how much I loved that movie when I was a kid. Way to go on letting go on the first day. I don’t know if I could do it until at least week 2 of school!

  17. Mary Jo says

    I spend a lot of time at the library with my kids. We read a lot together and I like letting them guide me with their interests. My son has exhausted the nonfiction section and I will be surprised if he doesn’t go into a science field some day. It’s exciting watching them follow their interests and learn!

  18. The Berry Family says

    I have a master’s degree in ballet and teach at a university. My daughter (5) has always danced around the house. I only taught her a couple of steps and do not correct her when she makes up dances. She recently told me she wants to do her own movement. I fear I have a modern dancer on my hands!!! But at least she is learning to explore the potential of the human body without worrying about a step being technically right.

  19. the hatch batch says

    When possible, I try to answer questions that would be answered with an opinion with “What do you think?” And let them answer before I do. My kiddos are still young but we’ve had some good conversations this way.

  22. Mami2jcn says

    My daughter, who just turned 4 a few days ago, loves art and music so I encourage her to be creative and I have her enrolled in ballet class.

    mami2jcn at gmail dot com

  27. Falafel and the Bee says

    I always try to give my girls freedom where it won’t hurt anyone… like eating cereal with chopsticks (oh yes she does) or wearing stripes and polka dots together.
    It gives them the confidence it takes to make the more important decisions later on!

  28. Pinspot says

    I let my girls put their own outfits together. My 12 year old has always been very conservative and still asks my opinion. My 9 year old couldn’t care less about what she wears. My 5 year old, now she’s always been the picky one. She fearlessly pairs color and pattern and doesn’t give a fig what others think of her combinations. It’s funny how they are all so different.

  29. Sharlyn says

    When I dropped off my daughter at her first day of kindergarten, I told her teacher: ” If she ever shows up in a bizarre outfit, just know it wasn’t worth the fight”. ;-). She’s darling!

  30. Jennifer Blackman says

    We have to just let them be who they are. Teach them core values while they are young, help nurture their creativity, and occasionally let them get holes in their “life raft”. Otherwise they will never learn to have the confidence to overcome things or learn to solve problems on their own. Keep up the good work!

  31. kellyr78 says

    I encourage my children to embrace their voice and follow their dreams by letting them participate in new activities and giving them words of encouragement along the way.
    kellywcu8888ATgmailDOTcom

  35. Emily says

    Hahaha love her outfit and love that you supported her in it! Beautiful girl! I try to let Ansley have as much input as possible in sewing projects (she picked grey bias tape for her pinwheel dress, which I hadn’t considered, and it was totally perfect), dinner plans, schedules, etc. I have been pretty lenient with accuracy in some of her piano songs too. emmillee(At)gmail(dot)com

  36. creilly says

    I love the unexpected outfits my little lady puts together. She wears a uniform for school so I let her have free reign when she is not in school. I do have to shoot down the occasional skirt that isn’t quite covering her behind…but that’s what fun leggings and tights are for!

  38. Jessica says

    Letting them trying their hand at lots of activities and not degrading any ideas or dreams they have.

    jessicarwarfield at gmail dot com

  41. Gina Wildorchid says

    I encourage my son by constantly telling him that he can do whatever he wants if he works hard and follows his passions.

    Thanks for the chance to win!
    wildorchid985 at gmail dot com

  43. Ruthy says

    My little girl is just the same, crazy sense of style and a will of her own. I hope she can keep the passion of being herself sting as she grows up!
    Ruth.siedlecki at gmail dot com

  47. susan1215 says

    I always tell my children to be the best they can be and I encourage them to try new things and that they can do whatever they put their minds to.

    s2s2 at Comcast dot net

  52. D Schmidt mummytotwoboys says

    Our children are very young still but we encourage them to find their own voices through play, imagination and most importantly through showing love. My younger son has such a sense of freedom to be himself that he breaks into dance wherever he is! We want them to know they can be anything they want to be if they work hard enough and follow their dreams.

    mummytotwoboys@yahoo.com

  54. Matt & Corrine says

    I’m glad to hear I’m not the only mom that secretly smiles to myself when my kiddos come out with “original” outfits. I cherish it though. Thanks for the chance for a classic movie.

  55. Matt & Corrine says

    I’m glad to hear I’m not the only mom that secretly smiles to myself when my kiddos come out with “original” outfits. I cherish it though. Thanks for the chance for a classic movie.

  58. KaHolly says

    Delightful post! I love Disney!! We were frequent visitors there when my daughter was growing up. I encouraged her to follow her dreams by exposing her to everything I could. We didn’t have a lot of money, but we sure had a lot of fun adventures and learning experiences. As a single mom on a very tight shoestring, my hope was to lead by example and show her that ‘the world was her oyster’!

  64. peg gonzalez says

    Giving them the freedom to make mistakes while casting a safety net so when they are young adults and away from the safety of home, they are comfortable making difficult choices.

  65. Nicola B says

    As a mom of two boys I am always delighted to see my friends daughters expressing their individuality through their clothing choices …everything doesn’t have to match …colors can be loud …..

  66. Allison says

    I like to encourage my kids in their clothing choices. That’s one of the best things about sewing–letting them pick the fabric and guide me in my pattern choices.

  67. PK Sews says

    I tell them “I love to listen to you read.” “I love to watch you play.” “I love see you when you come home from school.” “I love it when we do things together.” . . .

  70. chambanachik says

    I never tell my daughter something she wants to do is impossible. And she’s smart enough that I don’t believe anything is anyway. 🙂

    chambanachik(at)gmail(dot)com

  71. Janice says

    Being supportive, positive and encouraging and always speaking positive words. Its so important to let them know nothing is impossible.
    tweety800265(at)yahoo(dot)com

  74. Amy says

    I encourage my children to find their own voices by going for what they like and never gives up. Speak for themselves and don’t be afraid. It’s important to encourage the kids to never give up, follow their heart and their dreams.
    amy [at] utry [dot] it

  79. Matt and Cristin says

    I allow my kids to pick their own outfits if they want to. There is usually something I would rather they wear (something that matches or is more appropriate for the weather)….if they are safe (not wearing a down jacket in a phoenix summer, for example) then I don’t care! I have had to work at ‘letting things go’ but I only want for them to be happy and to be able to express who they are!

  80. Tonya says

    I like to encourage my kids to try new things to find things they are good at and enjoy doing! It’s fun to look for new things they may enjoy!

    dave_n_tonya (at) yahoo (dot) com

  81. Matt and Cristin says

    I allow my kids to pick their own outfits….as long as they are safe (ie. not wearing a down jacket in a phoenix summer!) then I can ‘let it go’…It is sometimes hard to not interfere about their choices but I want for them to feel confident in who they are and have the freedom to be themselves. I encourage them and cheer them on with other things …like my boy getting a ukulele instead of a guitar…if he is happy then I am happy. My dad ALWAYS supported me in my choices and I felt confident and comfortable growing up!

  82. Brian N Shay Troupe' says

    I’m trying my hardest To go with the flow and let my daughter do things her way when possible. But, sometimes we have to change out of our princess jammies, even if it is just to wash them.

  83. vintagevixen says

    I have no children but am a nanny and letting the child be themself is an important part of their care. I set up certain guidelines and let them make the major decision, for example I will list a couple games and they get to choose which one, offer a couple outfit choices and let them decide which option (the majority of the kiddos I’ve cared for haven’t been old enough to fully pick out an outfit). It’s the little things that help them to build their independence.

  84. Ashley says

    We try to make sure they can be who they want to be nearly every day. I love to ask the kids about their day and what they would do if they could do anything in the world. We do costumes and stories and make up songs. With the exception of “that needs to be washed” they are welcome to dress how they like so long as the follow school rules. I’m so glad we aren’t into school uniform years…yet.

  85. Michele E says

    I let them try stuff on their own before jumping in to help. If it doesn’t work for them I let them know it’s OK, we’ll work together to solve it.

  86. Suzanne Winter says

    It is funny that the first half of the question is ‘finding their VOICE’ – my husband and I have joked recently that we don;t know what B’s natural voice sounds like – he is a mimic and at age 2 can speak in about 5-10 different ‘voices’… he has been doing it since he was a baby. I hope we can always support each of our three children in their creative endeavors, that we can fine the opportunities to introduce them to things they might love, and that most of all – we can simply love them for who they are (Crazy voices and all!)

  87. mary dean says

    I try to encourgae my kids to stand up for what they beleive and not just follow the crowd. Whether it is just wearing the clothes they like, standing up to a bully or doing the right thing when everyone around them isn’t.

  88. heather says

    My girls are still young (2 & 4) but I try to let them be as independent as possible. They choose their outfits most days even if it means wearing a tutu with a tank top, rain boots and scarf or the faded Minnie Mouse shirt day after day. We also let them make as many decisions as possible and I think this helps build their confidence and gives them practice for when decision making is more significant.

  94. Stacy says

    Oh I can totally suck at this at least with some of my kids. As long as their ideas don’t mean gigantic messes or too big of a headache for me I let them do what they want.

  95. DolloMalice says

    I have 5 kids, so personalities all differ. I always try to make them feel loved as they are and refuse to push activities or style on them once they show that is not what they are interested. Being a rather odd child, I know how important it is to let them flourish in their own way! It’s hard and as they get older, it can get pretty treacherous, but allowing them to grow into their own person is an amazing thing to witness, especially when you know you gave them the confidence needed to be themselves.

  96. DolloMalice says

    Being a mom to 5, different voices and expression of them is constant. We try our best to give them the room and confidence to express themselves freely. Both my boys had long hair until recently by their choice and despite what society felt, they rocked it with confidence. The most important thing is they are happy with themselves the way they want to be, not how others want them to be.

  98. sewVery says

    I let them try new things (within reason) when they ask and always encourage them to explore beyond what’s in front of them.

  106. Tamar says

    I let them do just about everything but I help guide them through the way and encourage them. tamarsweeps-at-gmail-dot-com

  108. Emily says

    I try to support my child in whatever she dreams by providing encouragement, and any help that I can. We also talk often about how hard work is what makes dream come true.

  112. Anastasia Fall says

    I encourage my kids to follow their dreams by supporting their ideas and the things they want to do. We work together to find a way to make the things happen that they want. At the same time, we instill realistic limits. We can’t fly into today, but if we study hard and work at it, we can get into NASA in the future and fly to space then 🙂 You can have what you want, you just have to find a way to make it happen 🙂

    anastasia2013@gmail.com

  117. sarah says

    I encourage them to follow their dreams by signing them up for activities they are interested in, and letting them know they can pursue anything they want to
    stigay at Comcast.net

  132. LAMusing says

    I don’t have kids, but my parents always encouraged and applauded my interests. And later as a young adult, I did indeed follow my dreams.
    adrianecoros(at)gmail(dot)com

  135. Francine says

    I encourage them to give everything a try once and if they like it then we stick with it and try to help them reach their goal or dream.

  139. Kari Crum says

    My kids are teens now. I think the best way to help them with this is to always encourage them and help instill a good sense of self-confidence.

  142. Stephanie Larison says

    I encourage her to follow her interests, she knows she can do anything she wants to through hard work. And anything that is truely something you want is worth it. I support her in anything and everything.

  143. Lauren F says

    My 25 yo daughter’s first- and favorite!- disney movie. We watch it twice a year to remember her childhood and the message that you can be your own person despite what your parents want!

  144. Betty C says

    I encourage our children to try new things so they have the opportunity to discover what they really love.

    willitara [at] gmail [dot] com

  149. Lisa Garner says

    I encourage my children to follow their dreams by supporting them in all their in school and after school activities and helping suggest new activities to inspire them.
    lisalmg25 at gmail dot com

  157. Lauren Harmon says

    I currently have no children, although I very much hope that we will be blessed soon. In the mean time, I’m in school to become a teacher and plan to encourage my students to follow their dreams… I will encourage them to work on their weaknesses nicely and will definitely support them in their strengths and encourage them to truly grow within these strengths.

  158. Tim Allport says

    I try to encourage my boys through example. I always try to show them that the only thing that can hold them back is their own imagination. If they believe in something than their is always a way to make it happen they just have to want it enough to make that dream come true.

  159. Heather Deluna says

    Support: Once they show a strong interest that outlasts a momentary fancy, we provide the appropriate guidance, toys or moral support to further pursue the path of a dream.

  160. angie lilly says

    Always encourage them to be true to themselves, even if it goes against what society dictates as “normal” or “acceptable.”
    Angie
    14earth at gmail dot com

  162. Susan Smoaks says

    We encourage our children to follow their dreams by helping them. When we see that they have an interest in something we provide the tools they need to move forward with their goals.
    susansmoaks at gmail dot com

  164. Mary Somerville says

    I like to share stories of inspirational people with them. Ones who have succeeded against any obstacles to live their dreams. I let them know that even someone who is the best at what they do, was not great at first try. I expose them to as many activities as possible, and make sure they give them a good try. Yet, if their heart isn’t in it- I don’t push. I make sure they don’t feel they have failed. That everyone is different, and valuable, in their own way.

    fatesfrost@gmail.com

  174. ellie says

    I encourage my boys to follow their hearts and try to achieve their dreams. I let them know it’s okay to fail sometimes, because the only true failure is to never have tried.

  176. ellie says

    not sure if first post went through

    I encourage my boys to follow their hearts and try to achieve their dreams. I let them know it’s okay to fail sometimes, because the only true failure is to never have tried.

  182. candy says

    By helping them to believe in their self and that with a lot of practice and hard work they can accomplish anything wilcarvic
    [at]gmail[dot[com]]

  183. candy says

    By helping them to believe in their self and that with a lot of practice and hard work they can accomplish anything wilcarvic
    [at]gmail[dot[com]]