Monday I stopped off at one of my favorite thrift stores. We’d had a long day and an even longer weekend. My kids and I were all tired and grumpy but it was on our way home and I was hoping some fun finds would cheer me up.
Wrong.
The store was super crowded which meant I had to drag my complaining family a million miles across a million degree parking lot. Once inside I loaded Gracie into the cart and Simon chose to ride hanging onto the front because he was “too tired’ to walk.
As we worked our way back to the home goods section I received like 85 phone calls (ok so it was more like 3) which made driving the heavy cart through all the shoppers extra hard. (Someone please tell me—in situations like this why do I always answer the phone? Why? Am I trying to make my life harder?)
So there we are going through the store—me all big and pregnant, my kids complaining, I’m on the phone, and there are a million people. But no one is by the patterns and fabric. Hallelujah.
I pull the cart over. Simon starts tinkering with the random junk and I start going through the pattern bins. All of the sudden I feel something underneath my belly. I look down. It’s a full on woman in her 40’s that is going though the stuff on the shelf underneath me. She is crouched down and has her entire body squeezed in between my knees and the shelf!
Yea, not what I expected either.
“Excuse me?” I say as I step back trying to get her out of my extremely personal space.
She looks at me and hollers over at her daughter that “There must be good stuff over here”. Then in one foul swoop she stands up, scoops up the pattern bins, and dumps them into her cart. “Find out what’s in these,” she orders another girl who has shown up out of nowhere and is moving my cart (with my kids in it) into another area.
And there I stand stifling the urge to fill the aisle with upper cuts…or some wicked cool Mr. Meeogie moves (a reaction I wish I could blame on a hormonal pregnancy but which is unfortunately a common one) when Gracie yells “Knock it off!!”
Knock it off indeed. Teenage hillbilly is not only moving my cart but is now trying to take things out of it! I snatch up my kids, cart, and solitary pattern (out of her hands) and head over to the books. As we leave I hear the mom telling her girls how they shouldn’t have let me boss them around because the “merchandise” isn’t mine until I’ve payed for it and they have every right to look through other peoples carts.
Now (as if that wasn’t strange enough) we get to the book section just in time for some man to start asking me if I was aware that Walt Disney was a Nazi. Trying to be funny (and to get away as quickly as possible) I say then that explains the hyena’s musical number in Lion King. He stares at me. Then asks if I’m married because he’s noticed I’m not wearing a ring.
At that point I decided it was time to go home. Without a word we head up to the front to pay for our items (about 3 yards of some sweet green polyester fabric and one measly pattern—but a great one full of newborn clothes just begging to be made).
Upon arriving home I find the neighbor kids have dug holes in our flower beds, spilled snow cones on my porch, and have stolen the new bells off of Gracie’s bike. I take my children in and feed them dinner only to discover we are out of milk. Super. Fortunately, it’s time for bed.
It had been a long day but now I was going to sit down, in my quiet house with a cold drink, and cut out some fun old fashioned clothes for the baby. I pull out the pattern. I choose which outfit to make (the pink sun suit with matching bonnet) and begin to pull out the pieces. It is then that I realize the dang pattern is for DOLL clothes not baby clothes. And within seconds of this discovery our neighbor begins lighting off firecrackers which sets the other neighbors dogs off on a howling spree. It was a perfect ending to a perfect day.
So, what’s the moral to this really long and pointless story? Well, as I see it there are two lessons to be learned here:
#1. When you are buying thrift store items—especially patterns—look them over carefully before buying them so you know exactly what you are getting. Read what the pattern says, don’t just look at the illustrations on the front. (Unless of course a crazy woman is crawling around between your legs and her daughters are stealing your cart full of kids. In that case you should, in fact fill, that aisle with upper cuts then look over what you are buying before spending that 50 cents on a pattern you will never use.)
#2. At least we will always have polyester.
My jaw dropped lower and lower until I had to literally pick it up off of the floor as I read this. Like, Oh … myyyy… wooooooow. Some people. Some people’s kids. I am far too polite in situations like that (Canadian thing maybe? LOL) so I would have apologized for being in her way and scooched over, but as soon as her kids started getting into my cart I would have been like, “Uh, excuse me?! No.” and very pointedly taken the stuff and dropped it. With my Intimidating Face. My husband says I look like a snooty “b” when I’m not smiling, though, so I don’t tend to get into a ton of situations like that. Its a blessing and a curse… making friends is hard, because I’m shy but look like a snob, but yet the crazies tend to give me a bit of a wide berth.
My worst thrifting story is when an old lady tried played chicken with me on MY side of the road and then won because HOLY SHIT. WHO DOES THAT. We have some VERY competitive community garage sales, but mostly competitive in a passive-aggressive Canadian way where you ignore the people you’re cutting off and zipping in front of to swoop deals. I was also hugely pregnant that day and wound up nearly having a panic attack and left.
My oh my oh my – I am impressed with how you handled yourself. I have a feeling some very unsavory words would have been coming from my mouth…
Bless your heart, because I would have definitely had the urge to “reach out and touch someone” too.
At the very least I would have had some choice words for that woman, and maybe the neighbor kids parents. At least you’re pregnant and everyone would blame it on the hormones. lol. I’d just look like a “B”
Wow! That is some story! I want to go into that store and give that woman and her kids the what-for! 😉
Sounds like you handled it perfectly though! Sounds like a long (but funny) day!
Jo-Anna
oh my goodness, im shocked…with all of it! but that momma needs one swift kick in the heiny!
Unbelievable. Crazy day you had! Look on the bright side – you didn’t get arrested for taking out hillbilly woman! Hope today is a much better day for you.
Some people just don’t have any scruples. The sad thing is, she is setting up her next generation to be the exact same way.
Hahaha, oh dear goodness, maybe I shouldn’t be laughing at your hard day, but that was hilarious. You should have spilled your bottle of water on the lady while she crawled under you and then yelled, “Oh my gosh, my water just broke!” That’d teach her. Sorry about your rough shopping trip, but at least you know that even with a cart full of children and a pregnant belly, you’ve still got it goin’ on enough to get hit on by Nazi-hunters at the thrift store 🙂
Dear Liz,
And 3. At least you will always have Dr.Pepper. I think people check their brains sometime when they go to the thrift store, annoying. I’m sorry your day was so crappy 🙁 Miss you!
OH MY GOSH!!! REALLY!?!? Is this story true!? This seriously makes me want to find out who that lady is and punch her in the face for you (of course I wouldn’t really do that) Seriously!? What is wrong with people!? Did you complain to management?? Or perhaps file a restraining order. GEEZ!? I am in shock. I think I would have flipped out if someone touched the cart my son was sitting in. That is superr creepy!
It is like you entered the twilight zone through your whole day. Hopefully today is back to normal 🙂
Oh my goodness! What a trip! Literally. If I wasn’t a mom with three kids I would totally think this whole story was a fabricated exaggeration of the truth, but girl…I feel ya! Been there, done that! And for real, it’s the truth. I can’t believe that woman at the thrift store going through your cart or the crazy guy ranting about Disney (seriously good comeback line!). I’ve sworn off thrift stores and limit myself to garage sales only…surprisingly a much better crowd! Hope today is better.
Rachel
http://www.holy-craft.blogspot.com
This is seriously the funniest story I have ever read..in my life! I have three kiddos…I have been known to Thrift with them. There is always some crazy doin sketchy thrift activities. Glad to know I’m not the only one that has crazy thrifting experiences!!! Seriously. This story made my morning.
Have a good rest of your day!!
Are you sure this wasn’t a really crazy-bad pregnant dream?! Unbelievable! Glad you survived! Hope the rest of the week is better…much better.
Liz…why does stuff like this always happen to you?? I once got asked out by a hobo on a UTA bus but that’s pretty much it.
Wow. You just can’t make that up. We have all been there ( well, not THERE~ Who does that???). I hope tomorrow is better!
~Michelle
Remember the time we met the grown men cuddling stuffed animals and plastic swords while we were looking for books at Savers?
And we had to scoot ourselves out of there.
Well, your story takes the cake.
Sheesh….
Not only has situations like this happened to me at thrift stores, but at stores like Target too. I swear its like if people see you looking at something on clearance they swarm you like aunts on a piece of candy! So irritating!
You handled this much better than I would have 🙂
If that’s the DI then what that lady did was TOTALLY against their rules. All you would have to do is tell a manager and they’d ship her out. I learned this from a used book seller who regularly goes there. He must have learned it from experience?
Oh my goodness. I can’t believe that there are people out there like this! I guess there are all kinds out there… Yikes! I admire you for keeping your cool with that woman. I probably would have went off the deep end on her and her daughters if they touched me or my kids! Taking things out of your cart, and then saying it was ok? JEEZ!!!!!
Holy crap! I laughed at first… but then the whole thing just got too bizarre!!! What in heck is wrong with some people??? Honestly??? I’m so floored it’s unbelievable. Do people have any sense of manners – no, not even manners – of common human decency? Of how to behave in social situations?? You handled things really well under the circumstances, I’d say. And did you have a talk with the neighbors? Because I’d at least get the darn bells back!! 🙂
You have much much much more self control then I do. I would have not been able to just leave.
That woman needs to be checked back into reality. Not to mention your neighborhood kids.
I’m sorry you had such a stressful grummy day!
WOw liZ that day is sooo crazy and really really funny (although I know it wasn’t at the time!) sounds like your husband needs to go beat down a thrifty nazi 😉
Your description was so funny, I laughed so hard but I would have been really mad if it had been me. Wow, you have to be careful when you’re buying old patterns! Just looking at the illustrations on the front, I would have mistaken it to be child’s pattern too.